"Love at Home"

God is our Heavenly Father.  Because He loves us, He has sent us to earth so that through our experiences, we can learn and grow.  The environment in which this happens most powerfully is the family.

In Genesis 2:24 the first family on earth is established when Adam and Eve are married.  Adam's inspired words apply to all mankind: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."  In these words, God defines marriage as between a man and a woman, sets it forth as a law, and commands unity between husband and wife.  In Doctrine and Covenants 42:22  He gives a further key in establishing a firm foundation for the family, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else."

The foundation for a family in which children can thrive is a husband and wife that love one another with all their heart.  Anything that diminishes the love between husband and wife compromises their ability to bless and love their children.

A useful illustration of this principle is the safety instruction given to airline passengers.  In case of cabin depressurization parents are instructed to first put the oxygen mask on themselves and then on their children.  Why?  Because a parent impaired by oxygen deficit isn't able to give help to their children.  Likewise, parents who don't love one another with all their heart will be less able to provide their children the love that they need.

This principle is taught by Jacob in the Book of Mormon.  He was calling men to repentance for unfaithfulness to their wives.  In doing so, He used the example of their avowed enemies, the Lamanites, who were faithful to their wives.  He said: "Their husbands love their wives, and their wives love their husbands; and their husbands and their wives love their children" (Jacob 3:7).

Notice the order of his words.  First the parents loved one another and second they loved their children.  Because they loved one another, they were given greater power to love their children.  It has been said that, "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother" (Author Unknown).  Undoubtedly the reverse is true as well.  The most important thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father.

This principle is also reinforced in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children" (http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng). Again, the order is the same as quoted above.  Love for children naturally flows from and is strengthened by parental love.

So it isn't just a nice thing for husband and wife to love one another.  Actually, God has commanded husbands and wives to love one another.  From that love flows a deeper and more powerful love for their children.

I have seen from first-hand observation what happens to a family where love of children is placed first and love of husband and wife is neglected.  A couple that I know poured their heart and soul into rearing their children.  However, they failed to nurture their relationship as husband and wife.  They spent little or no time communicating with one another.  They didn't go on regular couple dates.  They felt estranged from one another and ultimately ended their marriage.  In the process, their treasured children suffered the pain that is divorce.

What can husband and wife do to cultivate a love for each other that grows with time?  The following are some things that can make a difference:

1. Take time to talk with one another.  Discuss how you are doing in rearing your children.  Set goals and jointly track  progress.
2. Make time to be together outside the home.  Establish a date night. It doesn't have to be an expensive activity.  Going on a quiet walk together can give needed opportunity to grow in your love and appreciation for one another. For many years my wife and I have faithfully set aside one night of the week to go out together on a date.
3. Serve one another.  In marriage as in so many other things, the little things can be the big things.  For example, on a daily basis, I make the bed and help my wife with the dishes.
4. Don't believe the statement, "Love means never having to say you are sorry."  It simply isn't true.  Swallow your pride and say those words when they apply.
5. Frequently tell your spouse, "I love you."  They need to hear it, and you need to hear it.  Over the years, though the words don't change, the feelings that they represent will deepen in a wonderful way. 

For information on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly called the Mormon Church) use this link: http://mormon.org/.